Sirenfish

Blogging live from Fiji today where scientists from the Fijian Marine and Equine University have captured the first live specimen of the fabled Sirenfish. The Sirenfish is a particularly fascinating member of the cantata-cisternarum family which until recently was believed to be entirely mythological. The Sirenfish's legend in fact is believed to have been mixed up with the myth of the mermaid in about 1763 in Guiseppe L'alinquito's 'Stories of the Deep'.

First discovered in March 15th 2006 by Dr. Russell Handplate, the fish is about 5cm in length, brilliant blue in colour with a handsome black dorsal fin. According to first hand reports, as soon as the Sirenfish is out of water it emits a shrill yet beautiful melody which is something akin to a soothing lullaby.
When Dr. Handplate first discovered the Sirenfish due to a lack of conclusive evidence he was made a laughing stock and was stripped of his title as dean of Mythological Marine studies at Oxford Universities Balliol College. Shortly after this Dr. Handplate renounced all his past theories and disappeared into obscurity.


Dr. Handplate shown here in happier times on a fishing trip in Ireland in 2005.

On a day when most of the world is celebrating the inauguration of the US's first African American president we can also celebrate another victory, this time of the scientific variety.



Deep see diver Tui "Ronald" Talunga (pictured here with a rare blue sack fish) captured and successfully presented the worlds first glimpse of a live Sirenfish. The unveiling will officially occur on February 1st at the Chelsea School of Marine Biology, London, please email info@csmb.edu for more info. If we can locate him, guest speaker Dr. Russell Handplate will deliver a speech about the Sirenfish and it's impact on the validation of Marine Mythology as a legitimate field of academic research.

In Memorandum, Dr. Kazuhiro Kanazawa

Today is a sad day for all at CSMB as we mark the passing of our highly respected alumnus Dr. Kazuhiro Kanazawa. Kazzer as he was known to his many friends passed away this previous Saturday. Amongst his many achievements Dr. Kanazawa was recently honored with the prestigious Richmond-Goldstein award for services to marine biology and for his tireless work in the fight against the Japanese whaling industry. In a quote from an interview in last months Aquasonic magazine Dr. Kanazawa was discussing his feelings about his native Japan's whaling problem; "When I was a young man I used to love the taste of whale meat, it's so soft and delicious. I love the way it oozes through your teeth when you squoosh it back and forth like jelly. When I went on a family holiday at 14 we took a boat trip and in the water ahead of me I saw a giant beast emerging from the inky black wash. I had never encountered such a majestic creature and when it fully revealed itself I was in awe. I swore that day that I would protect these misunderstood giants of the deep."
It was later in life that Dr. Kanazawa discovered whale music, eerie sonar style recordings of whales which he effortlessly blended with Nu Rave and Grime. At the age of 61 he started DJing around the world under the name DJ Kojiki, it was during this period that he was exposed to the darker side of the life of a touring DJ and got mixed up in narcotics and a hard living lifestyle. On Saturday 17th January 2009 at 4:30am Dr. Kanazawa was rushed to hospital having suffered a cardiac arrest. A post mortem revealed massive amounts of cocaine, ketamine, mdma and ironically a final meal of deliciously prepared whale meat sashimi. Although this could all be viewed as somewhat of a massive fall from grace, all of us at CSMB are sending our thoughts and prayers to the Kanazawa family. We hope deeply that his great work in the fields of Marine Biology and Nu Rave/Whale Music mash-ups will be forever remembered.

New Study Reveals Unusual Anomaly

A new study revealed today has shown that if over fishing continues at the rate it is today, young children could, by as early as the year 2017, have no idea what most species of fish taste like. It's likely that the tuna will be thought of as mystical being much like a unicorn and that salmon will be remembered as a fast food snack consumed on the go much like a hamburger or slice of pizza. The reasoning behind this shocking new theory lies in the direct link between fish as a 'brain' food and diminishing intelligence levels amongst the young.

A new study revealed today has shown, if over fishing continues at the rate it is today, Young children could by as early as the year 2017 have no idea what most species of fish taste like. It's likely that the tuna will be thought of in the same light as the dodo and that salmon will be remembered as a fast food snack consumed on the go much like a hamburger or slice of pizza. The reason for this shocking new theory is the direct link between fish as a 'brain' food and diminishing intelligence levels amongst the young.

ISDRA 12th annual gathering

Delegates from the Indian Squid Dam Research Association gather to discuss tide patterns and Ammonium sulfate precipitation (2 key early warning signs) last week. Prof. Vindeet Singh of the university of Mumbai later delivered his keynote speech on aggressive over fishing and depleting tuna stocks and presented his 3 step approach to provide sustainable fishing for future generations. Key points included Electrobiological vibration techiniques which would stimulate fish reproduction and higher penalties for fisherman caught using type 3 shawling nets.
After lunch dancing and merryment followed.

Ancient Shrimp Discovered 1000m Below Sea Level

Nano-Shrimp #362 also known as Bacilious-Crustacio

This prehistoric nano-shrimp was recently discovered in a reef off the coast of Mexico by a local couple (Mr and Mrs Herlado Diaz Rispatro) who were taking part in an annual crabbing festival. The festival forms a large part of the dias de los muertos celebrations in the town.
The shrimp rumored to be well over 1000 years old is not visible to the human eye. It was only discovered by the couple because of Senor Herlado Diaz Rispatro's extreme near sightedness.

New Squid Dam Found off the Coast of Belize

Noted Marine Biologist Carlos Ramanaldez

Evidence pointing to a new squid dam off the coast of Belize has the worlds media in uproar today. The dam was reported as a level 10 dam with a 15.5% chance of rupture. When noted marine biologist Carlos Ramanaldez was called upon to comment of the severity or this dam he was quoted as saying "The natural suction cups on the tentacles of the squids in question have reached level 5 contrusion, it's likely that unless acted upon quickly this sort of a dam could cause major repercussions to the local marine routes and fisheries".